CLA

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What is it? Stands for Clutterers Anonomous.  Is a 12 step group for those of us who have had problems with overshopping, hoarding, cluttering our

 homes and lives. What is clutter? It is anything in our minds, lives, homes, on our schedule we have no room for. Yes some of us h aw very kept very busy so dont looked

 ourselves. Distracting is also used to not feel

pain of loneliness as it is an isolatory illness. As we improve through meetings, decluttering, reading literature, not bringing

 more items in, journaling, meditating, self nurture, ex. Doing art work,  praying, etc. helps us have more control over our lives. Service to fellow sufferers on our journey

 helps us keep what we have learned. It is free. Next we create a sacred home space instead of a dumping ground to hide from friends, landlord, etc. We also find purpose 

to our lives that we daily are rebuilding from the wreckage of our old ones. Yeh for CLA or www.clutterersanonomous.org

Lots of free info on here for the new comers

 including meeting times daily. Happy decluttering!

When seeing a therapist is not enough if have mental illness

spam deleted. Thanks! 'here's to your health!' I live with anxiety, depression, fear and anger.I also have chronic pain from a spinal injury. Thankfully I have a dog as a companion. However she is the only one I can trust. It does get lonely. Meeting and being around others is hard as most of them are happier than me. I can't relate to them and visa versa. Lately I have had to push myself to so things as am sad. I was in two car accidents too and have a head injury. This causes memory and concentration problems too. On the up side, I am self sufficient. Mostly I listen to Christian music as it is calming. I also do mindfulness coloring, play chess online, watch TV once in awhile, have plants,write,attend support groups on phone, walk my dog, care for her, pray,eat tastey meals, as just got pizza tonight. The trick is to do something if down, not waddle in self pity, to feel better. As per Recovery Inc., support group, 'move a muscle and change a thought', 'resoluteness of the muscles overcomes the self defeatist babble of the brain'. This group is based on book Mental Health Through Mental Will Training written by Dr. Abraham Low, for his patients. Another group is Emotions Anonymous, based on 12 steps. Say powerless over emotions. Faith based teaching for symptoms is helpful too. Example: replace fear with faith, sadness with 'joy comes in the morning', 'don't let the sun go down on your anger', 'be anxious for nothing.'. DBT skills such as mindfulness, distress tolerance with meditation, taking a vacation if overstressed like going to sleep. Cognitive skills is another. Replace negative insecure frightened thoughts that cause negative emotions, with secure positive ones. If use some or all of these daily, you will feel better. It is a choice. Through action, even if don't want to, you feel better. Do the thing you hate or fear and gain the most confidence, comfort comes by bearing discomfort, showing can do it. We are sensitive so we Need to be less so and not let the outside environs effect our inner. People can be rude. We Need to let them go or are tossed about like fish in a tide. It is important to protect yourself. Try to get with supportive, kind people. Don't reveal yourself too soon until know is safe. Some will never understand or even try Like to call us crazy, stupid. Mean. Distance self.Stigma is out there. Why I don't work regular job. Write for money and do vending sometimes. Something. I would like to get together with others for lunch, coffee in Capital area, NY so not so alone. Get back to me if interested. Also comment here if can relate to topic. Thanks.

Troubled?

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If you struggle with emotional,mental problems as I and many have for years,these links will be a gift to you. They are from my favorite Christian preachers,Charles Stanley and joyce meyer.  They are dynamic speakers and offer FREE   videos and reading material unlike others who are out for your money like Joel Osteen and his Big Calvary church, the largest one in the USA. I guarantee these videos and these sites will lift your mood and lead you in a positi ve direction to heal what ails you.  Often times it is a troubled past,namely hurts from loved ones such as family ,friends,peers.  They may hae said,done things that hurt our feelings,self worth and ha e left us scarred til this day.  many believe the lies they were told that they are 'no good' and don't live their best lies but instead are unhappy,doing drugs,drink,are promiscuous,in an unhealthy relationship and so on.. is this what we are here for? no, i don't think so. i believe we are here to enjoy our lives,find our divine purpose and live it serving others and the Lord,making a  difference in this world and being remembered by the lives we have changed and touched. 

Recovery inc. is a self help support group for those with mental problems who struggle with troubling emotions of fear,anger,anxiety,panic.  They meet across the US,in CN and Ireland currently. I attend a weekend meeting  by teleconference from my home on Sundays, 3:30 PM EST.  phone numb er is on the web site and code to punch in to jo9in meeting.  in ti me get the book out of the library 'Mental health Through Will Training'  by Dr. Abraham Low,written in the 1930's for his patients for them to review when not in session with hi m.  The book as quotes you can cling to whe n in symptoms so you c an cope such as 'move a muscle,change a thought','we are a capable lot but we paralyze oursel ves with fear','inner approval is more important than outer approal','symptoms are to be bravely faced,hum bly born and tolerated' and so on. I strongly recommend this program to anyone afflicted with these problems to prevent frequent hospitalizations,suicide,incarceration,homelessness,divorc e,domestic violence and so on.  It changes lies and it's free!

Borderline Personality Disorder and Me..

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(cont.)from select family,friends,support groups,chats,online and locally,humor,distract with movie,tv,not triggering),volunteering,cooking nice meal,hugging self,compassion for self,others,prayer,dropping judgement,expectations,comparing,moping,self pity,manipulating,complaining,worry,hypersensitivity,letting go of,making peace with past,forgiving those who hurt us,accept,be honest,courageous,positive,grateful,remember where were before,(replace old negative statements in writing with positive ones,reduce anger,fear with reframing,working self down,staying in day,control addictions,ask for help,company,not enabling helps. All relative. Put inspiring quotes on walls. Peace,God bless,good luck to all of us. Work it, worth it,stronger,better than you know. Brain remembers,we learn in time not to repeat same mistakes and walk down different st. so don't fall in hole again. Is crux of it. Weren't loved so we have to love us. Don't accept others trash just because have issues,maybe poor,jobless,friendless as keep to self to avoid pain or not being understood. No.one deserves abuse. It ends here,now when we say enough and take back that child,person wounded,depend on selves not another as a crutch,learn to and receive love and walk. No shame,not to blame. We didn't cause this but responsible for what do with it. Is like a balloon. By doing techniques I gave you and do myself,we let a little air out of it at a time so suffering lessens and is bearable We are great and survivors. If you are still here,you are doing more right than wrong. Nothing wrong with us,more like what happened to us. Celebrate your survival. When you finally overcome this you are a miracle and learn to love yourself. No one can take that from you.

Our journey inspires others to make the same as we fly on the backs of us pioneers just like geese taking turns leading,squawking,til we tire and let our sister,brother lead for a time til we reach our goals. Perfection is an illusion. We are ok right now as are,not defective.We need each other as we are part of a unique flock. We are not crazy but have been exposed to violence,etc. that made us function in maladaptive ways as we couldn't be direct to our abusers. When we find a safe place to live,take the right medicine,find a trauma therapist,meet other BPD peers,begin to use these tools above, the healing begins. Don't expect people who haven't lived this to understand and ask for advice as they can't give it to you. Is like we speak an unknown language. They can have empathy but they need to be in a group to deal with us. We are not bad just very misunderstood.

If click on link above can see various youtube videos concerning this illness,it's causes,treatment options,personal stories by those living ith BPD. I believe while it possible to get beyond the criteria for meeting this illness,based on the DSM manual,it is something llike alcoholism that one needs to be are of and manage for the rest of one's life. We can have a life today though due to the wonderful work and commitment from doctors in this field and the personal stories of people with this.

It is my wish that one day people with mental illness are treated with the same respect given to others with physical illnesses people can see. The best remedy is tolerance and inclusion not isolation as it breeds sickness. By daily doing what is necessary,not what we feel like doing we learn to cope with our feelings and let them rise and fall and run their course without attaching danger to them. we stop making mountains out of molehills and gradually learn ne ays of dealing with those and thew world around us and situations e may find ourselves in. We learn to make good decisions not impulsively,for us and our self esteem and security within us grows as we begin to have more and more positive experiences replacing the awful ones from the past. We stop staring as nothing ever changes there. we accept we have no power over others but ourselves and our attitudes and we begin to live life on life's terms not our own. As they say in 12 step promises.these will surely come if we work for them.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

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This applies to all of us folks and not just those suffering with emotional illness and addiction due to abuse and the behaviors that go along with it like stealing,lying,manipulation,job instability,violence and so on. Keeping ourselves on the beam so to speak is very important. It is vital that we know what our priorities are,that we surround ourselves with supportive,healthy people and choose jobs that are fulfilling to us and where we are appreciated for what we contribute by not just a pay check. If we can't find joy in what we do career wise then it is essential we do somewhere or we will be lost. Perhaps volunteering is the answer. Maybe joining an organization whose mission you too share like being green,saving animals,advocating for abused kids,elderly,those with disabilities. I don't know. It's different for everyone. When you find yourself at a point in your life like you don't want to get up in the morning,nothing excites you,family or person(s) close to you are not enough or are getting to YOU, it's time to look at what is really going on here. If honest, you will see what is needed is that you make a change in your life and the direction it is going. Don't settle for less as it will effect all areas of your life.Be courageous and live your life and do what you are being called to do. Listen to that little voice in you telling you what you need to do,what you are here to do. Don't shrink from that call but boldly follow it. You won't regret it. It is then that you will be living and not just existing.

We probably have been hearing that voice a long time but we didn't follow it out of fear of what we might have to do or give u to achieve it.

Hi. I am Back

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Well alot has been going on since I blogged last. Yes I found housing. Is ok. Not great but I manage. I have 1 1/2 bed room cottage. I moved in in July. Is unweatherized so rough in winter but I managed as I put plastic over windows,have rugs on floors,heavy curtain over door at night. January and February heat bill high as use propane.

I did not have internet and just used library pc where got booted off in a half hour so didn't write here. I also needed space and time as a 15 year relationship was in ended. We still chat on line occasionally by email and he gives cat support as two of his cats here. We had had eight. One was adopted,one at no kill shelter sadly,two he had at lace we shared and supposedly they were put in shelter. Pray they are well. All can do. Other four with me and my dog. We are well. We had a codependent relationship as we both have some addictions and some emotional challenges.

I did flea markets during summer for money with jewelry I make and will again this summer. Memorial day right around the corner.

My mom was ill since December of last year again until recently. I put her in nursing home. Now she is in a better one near me and I visit her weekly. She is mentally well tho mostly in wheel chair sadly. She is 91 though and I am grateful still have her. I am able to give back to her what did for me.

I joined a church and have become born again Christian. They have been very supportive of me especially when mom took ill. Pet sat even. I have some new sisters in Christ now as not close to one have.

Well that's about it. If care to comment on anything I mentioned please do. Maybe about relationships,faith,aging parents,how you save money and are surviving in this bad economy,
Mental Health Hope Chat

Welcome

Welcome!!



You can change your LIFE simply by how you look at it NOW and altering the way you think. Stop giving your personal power to others and what they think of you and what you do and create your own reality and world that brings you joy. Get out of your rut. This zaps your energy because it creates hopelessness and sadness. Some action may be required but it's worth it. It may be scarey but we have to give up some things,people to have some thing better. ex. you will not meet a new one for a relationship if you are still with the old one. It is important to do own thing and if you are even friends with someone cotrolling thru anger if doesn't get own way and words and actons on your part have failed..it is important tahtn for you to set limits without even saying it. Make yourself suddenly busy,unavailable,minimize contact,go out more and get to know others. cAn be scarey meeting new people and possibly facing rejecton but isn't bad if done in an activity where people are meeting for an art class and may go for coffee after. You can speak of you but don't hog chat. Ask about next person. Be aware if you feel like complaining,drop judgement,accept all,don't compare. be present in the moment. Not in past or future. Be open to new experiences instead of being so influence by the bad that may have happened. Block it out and stay busy. If live in apast or future dyou poo on today. Make yur realtiy better by the things you do daily. Create your own beautiful world. Note* This takes time,just as you didn't get this way over nite,you will not get healthier quickly either. You will improve tho if you commit yourself to this daily. Set a goal. click on page that pertains to what you want to work on.

Altho I am an artist the focus of this site is on health and how to maintain good overall health using SPIES. This encompasses the whole human being's needs and not just one part. I give you tips on how to tap into the spiritual,physical,intellectual,emotional and social parts to self and feed those needs daily. The art is my creative side which I think we all have. I find it relaxing and rewarding:) There is an emphasis on the emotional as I am trying to heal my damaged emotions.

This is a personal site as opposed to just commercial. Ofcourse I do welcome if you choose to buy from my stores to which I am an affiliate and my art(sketches,paintings) and photography as well as some of my modeling photos. My blog is an extension in parts to living healthily today like Drama Triangle which can find in blog.



Proceed if over 18 (as has Adult subject matter and some of my art which includes some artistic modeling I did.)




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©2006

walking closely with God

and doing the next sober thing..I am keeping self,pets,home safe. I also feed my wild birds,bunnies out back. All I have control over. I do what can. Good Karma.

As far as career goes.. I say I am an artist. I have made $ off modeling but will only do projects I feel comfortable with. I had done cam chat too but am not doing it anymore as fed my addiction. As for addiction...my first feeble attempts at intimacy were met with abandonment. I thought man would stick by me once we "did it". Not the case..on to next is what they do. Is best not to rush into it unless know real well. Nice in theory but being human hard to control hormones. I also found with rejection is was less painful to have sex when I wanted it but soon it became a compulsion. I also felt embarrassed and guilty by what did as double standard for women. I tried to fight this as a feminist and as men did. In reality I was not a man and had more to risk than a man and paid the price.

Of late I journal in blog here and yes I have the web site so I guess I am sharing my experience,strength and hope with others on this same road. Yes we can live with this,we do not need to be ashamed as is a a sickness like any other and yes we can get better. It does take time. Don't let anyone put you down.

I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me..the why's,how's and so on. From my understanding..I was hurt by some pretty sick people who them selves were hurt. Also it made them feel better about selves to pick on me for being different and not doing to 9-5 job or whatever their problem with me was. None of their business. It took focus off them. I in turn hurt people by following the drama triangle...one minute perpetrator,next minute victim next minute rescuer..I caught self in it with friend the other day and I caught my self and I said what he does is not business. When I get plank out of my eye can take out speck in his. I had to look at good in him and there is alot there. I have no right to hurt another. I am far from perfect yet he accepts me,cares and isn't judging.

I also resented the men I was hurt by who used me and in turn I said well use him back. I know they feared intimacy like me and settled for this way of getting close if only for a night..which was a misuse of sex and addictive.

I didn't know how to relate to anyone in a healthy way as I didn't accept me. I never was accepted for me. I do now with my flaws and mistakes. I am human. I was brought up to be perfect so human was not acceptable. I am a human being not doing. I have learned it's not about me or you but God. To do what is necessary daily and not just what I want. It doesn't mean I don't have some thing to contribute like my writing as I think I have some thing to say based on what I have learned. I have a place in this world and don't need to excuse myself for being on the planet anymore. I think in this way I can relate to others and be kind without trying to save them,control them and then persecute them when they do not do as I say like I am God and then play the victim. I can only handle me and man that is enough.

So for today I can say I am writing. As a model yes some stuff was published in book,magazine,on web sites,private collectors and yes I was paid so am accomplished by society's standards. I even had a poem published. I have written articles for news paper.

These days I would say I am trying to find some thing to get absorbed in and feel good about. What is a success? Could be many things..being a good parent,having a career,being a good spouse...is a person thing. For me it is having a purpose for good and living a decent life and when I put my head on the pillow being able to live with me. It is not about money. All I need is enough to get by. I don't date as I need to get strong enough in me so don't repeat behaviour of past so I stop being hurt. I am taking care of me and don't need a man to complete me.