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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query welcome. Sort by date Show all posts

Wednesday, May 16, 2007



You can change your LIFE simply by how you look at it NOW and altering the way you think. Stop giving your personal power to others and what they think of you and what you do and create your own reality and world that brings you joy. Get out of your rut. This zaps your energy because it creates hopelessness and sadness. Some action may be required but it's worth it. It may be scarey but we have to give up some things,people to have some thing better. ex. you will not meet a new one for a relationship if you are still with the old one. It is important to do own thing and if you are even friends with someone cotrolling thru anger if doesn't get own way and words and actons on your part have is important tahtn for you to set limits without even saying it. Make yourself suddenly busy,unavailable,minimize contact,go out more and get to know others. cAn be scarey meeting new people and possibly facing rejecton but isn't bad if done in an activity where people are meeting for an art class and may go for coffee after. You can speak of you but don't hog chat. Ask about next person. Be aware if you feel like complaining,drop judgement,accept all,don't compare. be present in the moment. Not in past or future. Be open to new experiences instead of being so influence by the bad that may have happened. Block it out and stay busy. If live in apast or future dyou poo on today. Make yur realtiy better by the things you do daily. Create your own beautiful world. Note* This takes time,just as you didn't get this way over nite,you will not get healthier quickly either. You will improve tho if you commit yourself to this daily. Set a goal. click on page that pertains to what you want to work on.

Altho I am an artist the focus of this site is on health and how to maintain good overall health using SPIES. This encompasses the whole human being's needs and not just one part. I give you tips on how to tap into the spiritual,physical,intellectual,emotional and social parts to self and feed those needs daily. The art is my creative side which I think we all have. I find it relaxing and rewarding:) There is an emphasis on the emotional as I am trying to heal my damaged emotions.

This is a personal site as opposed to just commercial. Ofcourse I do welcome if you choose to buy from my stores to which I am an affiliate and my art(sketches,paintings) and photography as well as some of my modeling photos. My blog is an extension in parts to living healthily today like Drama Triangle which can find in blog.

Proceed if over 18 (as has Adult subject matter and some of my art which includes some artistic modeling I did.)

Link To Us! Send an Email with your url,email address and what page our link is on your site and we will link to yours. Please have a site pertaining to ours. Thanks)


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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Artzstuf - Artzstuf,welcome - Cairo, NY

obviously people did read it so not all bad.Artzstuf - Artzstuf,welcome - Cairo, NYhad a post linking to my temp. free for a month trial blog that is now down. had hoped to get some buzz,biz from it. click here to see my site on Square free.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Intro_ Welcome !!

Welcome to Closer To Sane!!

"The only possible way to improve the conditions of one's life is to improve one's emotional condition" One Day at a Time -Alanon

This site deals with Abuse and Recovery from emotional illness and addiction. It also is a resource and has names of related books,links to support groups and web sites. Thanks -Ann

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

FREE art/ writing class/ studio time at library...

spam deleted. Thanks! 'here's to your health!' AtCohoes public library. all welcome. email me if interested. thanks. more info here. 'I made this!' -ann reilly, designer

Sunday, September 15, 2013


spam deleted. Thanks! 'here's to your health!'

from my welcome to closer to sane blog,a mental health blog.


Rain While we need it, We don't need it every day, But, it's been pouring daily, from where I sit, Watching the drops of water fall and trees sway, With the wind blowing their branches and leaves falling, Instead of for rain, I pray for a sunny day, Listening to birds sing, Feeling the warmth of the sun, Not the coolness of the clouds in the sky, Then I can get something done, Outside, tidying up, I'll try, For now the streets are soaked with rain, buckets of the stuff have filled my flower pots, It has now become a pain, As sun too is needed for fruit,crops,trees and forget me nots, So now instead of a rain dance, I will wish for a sunny sky, As I watch the animals prance, From my window by and by, Yes, it's high time for some sun, I long for it's warmth on my face, and the summer fun, It's vibrant glow on this place, That not is wet and dull, The streets resemble a ghost town, Empty and the sounds are at a lull, No activity can be seen in this now sleepy town, The rain seems to have washed away the people as well, As watered the ground and soil, The air is heavy with a damp smell, Soon, men will toil, Under the hot sun's rays, On rooves,fields,streets, They will seem as if in a daze, While others complain of the heat, And wish that it would rain.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

new posts at other url..

no spam,please as deleted. Thanks! look for new posts here as blogger forwards my blog to other url on dropaholics if I don't post daIly. guess how they keep blogosphere current and cleaned up as many haven't posted anything new in years and should delete their blogs. I transferred some posts from old blog,you can't read as page disappears as can see,to new one called ,welcome to Closer to sane. Again,sorry for the inconvenience and pain in the neck.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

memorial service..

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks! Mom's memorial service in Activity room of nursing home in Catskill today. all who knew her are welcome. thanks.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Come to my meditation Class...

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

and meet me at town hall in Cairo,NY. Runs fro 6 PM-8PM. Suggested donation is $5.00 I have more info on my web site Artzstuf so just click on link above. Hoe to see you there!

Also don't forget to come to our holiday stroll 11/26 also in Cairo on main street. I will be at Gallagher's as a crafter/artist selling my jewelry,art. Runs from 3:30-7 PM. free admission,refreshments,vendors,parade,tree lighting to welcome in the holiday season.

Have a Happy,safe Thanksgiving all!

Monday, October 03, 2011

Archives of Conferences on BPD

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

Just click on link of post title.

I have been having a hard time of late. Why? I suppose alot to accept. Don't have to like it though.

Alone alot as no close friends,any one to do things with or to help me if needed help even if for barter.

Making no money,not for lack of trying. Someone went to an event with me and I paid her back with jewelry make. I asked her if could do an event with me but she had plans. She has a job. Since don't hear from her,figure won't call anymore.

I know people but they have their own lives and problems so detach from me and mine.

type with 1 finger as need battery so hold pc plug or pc cuts off.

welcome to my life.

no car to get to events to sell jewelry. just had concert this weekend.
could have sold if got there. then there's the fee. how can I pay if don't have as not making it? could borrow from ma but her money. Am I a masochist as I have a solution but don't take it? No I don't like pain but avoiding it can be painful too when interferes with living your life. No guarantee will make anything and not gambling with mom's money.

Other than vending,nothing can do given my challenges. Yes I can share with you some things I do to cope like meditation,pray,stretch,deep breathe and so on..but not like I get beyond this. I feel with some support could. Did go to online recovery inc. meeting which helped. had anted to teach meditation class in town. librarians unfriendly tho i know skills. feel they on't call me. I also asked churches if could run ea and recovery inc meetings there. they need to look into it. I feel like will go nuts at times. Is meetups too where can invite people thru service online to group in area like for bpd. Don't think library would approve it. Meditation with someone,not me as stigmatize me,yes would approve. Keep me down here and broke. I could make money off it.

I think of moving as saw ad in Albany,1br for $400. I pay $650 now. Could save $,live better but why so cheap problem bad area. Pic looked nice. dunno. darned if do darned if don't. Mom in home here and would be hard to see her often as $34 round trip by bus and only run at rush hour so layover long back. Is doable and even though spend alot in car fare still cheaper than here. Would have $100 more a month.

Is a pain moving but hat is worse as sucks living here like this. If in Albany,could go to day time meetings,maybe get a p/t job somewhere,trauma therapist up there. I get treated like an alien here. They have family friends. Since I can't bond because of how raised, I don't. I wish could. Is best I keep my distance. As for a job,this comes up there too as can do for awhile but then falls apart. Sometimes I ish I was in a half way house but was for a month and they weren't supportive at all. Then I say how abot hospital,day program but then is the same. Just go to groups and alone rest of time as patients are either mean,noncommunicative,in on worlds,violent. Is why I think of suicide. I don't because of pets,mom,me but it gets tiring being me alot going thru this.

This only started recently as time on hands. I have to keep busy or get into my head.
with depression don't want to do much though so is the rub. I feel better after I do. Also I work programs daily like DBT,CBT,12 step,Recovery Inc,pray. Is like a seesaw. The devil,the illness,the negative thoughts,memories,anger,fear,every rotten thing anyone has done or said recently that I know on one side and the positive,secure thoughts,God,scripture from the Bible,program tools on the other. Is a war within myself going on. It stops after 8PM,has been like this for a long time, as day is done,only for it to start again the next day when rise. I enjoy being alone with my pets,being outside sitting in my yard alone at night,like the aloneness as no one understands here except someone else with this. I work hard to be honest,not manipulative. I am screaming inside,help me! Can't you see how much pain I am in? I just want some attention in a good way. Someone to talk to me nicely and not tell me what i should be doing like they understand where I am coming from as they don't. I have an exneighbor I see every once in awhile who is clueless as to why someone so smart as me and aware of her issues can't rise above them. The answer to that is if do too much I crack up.

Two things, I on't get involved with anyone nor will I work many hours. Why? If doesn't work out I will have a breakdown and be in hosital,not a nice place to be and be psychotic. I fear I won't get ot and will never return to any semblance of sanity which I do have. Is like I live in a parallel universe with the average person. I hear what are saying arond me but it is completely alien to my life. I hear commercials like this activity is going on this weekend. I can't get there so I stay home. I would like to go but no money either. If did though, I would appear perfectly normal as the mask i wear is so good. That is why noone has any compassion for me. They have to work for what have and figure so do I. What do you do with someone too imbalanced to? Live as I do I guess falling between a system that doesn't work,one day at a time in quiet desperation.

I get so tired of cli nical and text book reports of what BPD is. I want to know what one can do if they have it.

Friday, September 23, 2011

D.A.R.E. day in Greene County NY

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re:DARE day

Hide Details
ann Eagan
Message flagged Friday, September 23, 2011 11:37 PMMessage body

I am an artist,jewelry designer living in Cairo. I usually go to events and sell my jewelry and art. DARE day is different. Also have been a speaking on living green at green fairs and taught jewelry class at library.What I do is healing arts in the form of jewelry making,art(painting) and some photography. I practice alternative medicine,meditation,deep breathing,stretching etc. My story is one of recovery as have struggled with depression and anxiety(in form of being down,hard to do things like homework and socially shy,nervous to point didn't want to attend school anymore and only graduated as guidance counselor referred me to pastoral counseling at Iona college,as from Westchester originally,went to school on scholarship in Rye) for many years.

What I would like to do at DARE if could is speak on mental health awareness,suicide prevention, teaching tolerance,preventing violence like from gangs,a Columbine, bullying and i see it tell an adult(as gay young teen killed himself recently and had a video on youtube about being harrassed in school for years) It is not easy growing up,being a teen,figuring out who you are,trying new things,trying to fit and maybe don't. Not everyone is or can be a foot ball star or cheerleader. Even they put on a mask and really are just trying to be a certain way to be accepted. Many parents live vicariously through their kids making them do things kids don't really want to do like play foot ball when would rather play guitar.

Sometimes kids feel like they are a disappointment. They can be impulsive and is why drink and try drugs as is around and then get behind the wheel. They don't think things thru and think they are invincible.

The name of my company,such as it is as really an artist on a small budget with a website,is Artzstuf. I could suggest alternatives being the arts in it's many forms:dance,music,painting,jewelry design,theater. I would say to be yourself once you find her/him and not to let anyone tell you you can't do something and give up on your dream just because they have on theirs. Parents will recommend going to business school and then get into whatever when graduate and kid hates it. What I do is clearly not for everyone but I am someone unimpressed by degrees and other things like prestige,power,prosperity. Getting by is enough. I bring beauty into the world What would this world be without people like us,or if everyone was a clerk? We are all different and called to be different things. I think we need to embrace our differences that make us who we are and look for the good in each other rather than the bad or the differences that divide us and as say in 12 step choose 'principles over personalities'. Many adults forget this and encourage 'hate speech',prejudice and raise children with closed minds and full of fear like themselves. I think such homes create bullies.

I have faith in something higher to which call God flowing through me so the sky's the limit. Life is an adventure and not a destination and it is no easier by not taking chances than not playing it safe and being bold. The fearful still fall in the same holes as the fearless.

There are many in this town who like to control it and don't welcome any change or those with different,new ideas. With regard to mental health. Many go down to clinic by park and live lives of isolation on outskirts of society and not mixing with it as are stigmatized. Mental,emotional illness is often caused by trauma at an early age such as child abuse,neglect and ,there are some genetic links that run in families and scientists have even seen with brain scans the brains of those with say depression function differently than those who don't . This is carried into adult hood and wreaks havoc on the one who has it and the lives they touch. Medication helps quite a bit so should tell you something. Besides being a problem in the thought area(negative thinking->bad feeling->negative,self destructive behavior ), there is a problem in how the brain is functioning or the chemistry of it. This affliction effects thousands of people. It is said 3 million people in the US alone have bipolar. How come people aren't talking about this more? I have a mood disorder. I am not one for labels as I am a logical person. They are used by shrinks to get paid by insurance companies. Not into labels that put people in neat little boxes as guess what life is messy. I take an antiseizure drug as I compare when go on shopping spree,the manic working,etc. to a seizure. My mom had them and takes something and antidepressant. Why the shame if is physical but effects the brain and body? Many feel is a private matter. I think there is a link between this and epilepsy. I also was in a car accident,head broke wind shield,at 16. Mild head injury or post concussion syndrome.

Can educate people about head injury too as do a bit dail,can get tired with meds,don't compare,block out others suggestions which took me years to do like don't take meds.

I am not ashamed of what i have as didn't cause this. John Bradshaw who wrote 'Healing the Shame that Binds You' wrote and also he was on PBS'shame is that we are a mistake,guilt is that we made a mistake'. I am no mistake. I even had a librarian here in town stand next to me while i was on pc and she said 'freak',. She is a bully and this makes some uncomfortable as usually hide some similar issues themselves. Say I can why can't you?. Not sure if directed at me as she was hanging around looking at what i was typing. She is odd herself. He describes how dysfunctional families have members in them with different roles:mascot,scape goat and so on. I was the invisible one who got good grades as is how I got any attention. Otherwise I was a slave. Cleaned around home,did landscaping and such. I used to hide from my relatives..

Later was a crime victim,was in unhealthy relationships as unhealthy and never learned how to love and receive it,had trouble sustaining employment due to social part of it,the getting along with others,especially if I felt illtreated and home burgled 2 as is why came up here.
Is common for those to be victimized,especially by criminals as are passive,often alone. I am not sure how you serve this population who one doesn't hear about unless they jump off a bridge or kill family then self after lose a job. I say a bandaid is put on it for years. Comes down to trauma and facing it and dealing with what has happened so doesn't happen again and the suffering stops. One stands up for self,learns to love who they are and go on. Not to sing my praises but I think my story is an important one and a gift to this generation. I am not crazy but have been in some crazy situations and met bullies who didn't stand u to out of fear. 'If don't stand for something you will stand anything' No one deserves abuse. It makes you crazy. I and others like me deserve so much more. Their ignorance,and not in my back yard attitudes keep them from knowing people so they rather distance selves and judge,point the finger which points back at them,as makes them feel better about selves as lack self esteem. they look for what they think are easy targets as see others shooting at them and know we might fight against one but not a whole group. Can honestly say,have 8 neighbors who hardly know mr,dislike and talk about me,say hurtful thins as can be sensitive. I am working on not being so and letting past go that wake up to each morning like Ground Hog Day.

There are self help groups such as Emotions Anonomys and Recovery Inc to heal from emotional illness yet few therapists speak or recommend them. I found out through self help clearing house. I have used many things to feel better and not just traditional methods. Currently I try to work witn 'the system' am in to get out of poverty. Government programs such as VESID say if want to be a clerk again they can ghelp and give me a job coach other wise no dice. Is kind of likie saying was in a fire so now be a fireman. They won't support my vending. Live on disability.

I would like some help in sharing it with schools,t DARE,with the police force(to give them a different slant on mental illness to wellness) and to educate people and bust the stigma. If expose it to the light of day,it loses it's power to control and scare us.

Walking in the light,


Monday, June 06, 2011

May Came and Went...

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks

To the Editor:

May was and is Mental Health Awareness Month yet this year May came and went in Columbia-Greene counties with no mention of Mental Health,except at (MHA) Mental Health Association who had an open house here in Hudson. In past years there have been 'Out of the Darkness' marches both in Hudson and Catskill to remember those lives lost to this devastating illness and it's impact on those families and friends left behind. It seems like most things unless it touches us in some way personally,we can turn a blind eye to it. I believe Mental and emotional illnesses touch everyone's lives in some way. Many Americans lose days at work due to their emotional state of mind which costs companies money. The government has had to pay a heavy price financially to support many who can't work as the 'system' as it is called, is very flawed and would rather put a bandaid on the problem rather than treat it. They are penalized if try to work as government takes half of check. Where's the incentive in that? This is not to say that people don't go to therapy and take the medication to be some what stable. Unfortunately this is not enough. Many live on the fringes of society or are recluses in their homes as they fear the public and visa versa. 'That which we don't understand we fear'. How do you get to know a person? Simple. You talk to them. Everyone has a story. If we can identify with one another and drop the judgement as none of us are better than another,we would see how similar we are. I suppose that is what frightens us is that it could happen to us. People with mental challenges need to be assimilated into society. Companies need to become willing to hire those with disabilities and let them do something. They can't be expected to do what someone who doesn't have this can. I believe before people come to the job,the company needs to provide it's employees with training on mental health illnesses,thinking,feeling,behavior so that they can work with them. Ex. Someone may have problems with concentration or memory so it is better if things be written down for them on a post it like 'need 5 copies'. I believe there is a solution if we are willing to look for one. Obama wants the unemployment rate cut. The state and country are broke. Social security and Medicare are threatened. I say the party is over. Was it such a party anyway? Unlike what many Americans who have to work every day,believe,many of those on the government rolls are hanging on by a thread and not living high on the hog. Granted there are some who play the system and have some illegal family business going on to which even it's children are a part of as are born into it. For many though I believe, if they could get help finding a job they could do and get the proper training and support to keep it and work with them and bosses should any confllict come up on job,they would gladly work. This will not happen in a day as from being out of work years,many have developed poor habits,let alone having a good work ethic. For some,a job full time is not reasonable as their functioning level is not high enough to cope. Perhaps working part time or volunteering is the answer. I believe everyone who is unemployed should be contacted and worked with so that they can serve society in some capacity as this develops self esteem and makes our country stronger by having people in it who are happier and a part of this country they inhabit rather than existing leading mundane,meaningless lives. Many were abused as children and are still as adults as are easy targets to bullies anyone who just wants to make a pot shot at them. When did this become ok? The reality is they are more often the victims of crime and are taken advantage of as are gullible,trusting,passive and are often alone as ARE FRIENDLESS.

Many of us have family members who suffer from depression,anxiety,panic attacks,phobias. In fact 1 in 4 Americans will have a mental illness at some point in their lives. 1 in 10 young people between the ages of 13 and 25 have a mental illness. The suicide rate is growing amongst our teens and returning military who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, at an alarming rate. Many service men and women have head injuries. This too is not easily understood as they bring on changes in mood,behavior such as anger outbursts,low frustration tolerance,depression,feeling overwhelmed. What was easy to do such as do several things in a day, is now difficult. Perhaps they can only do the laundry, in time. It is important that those with any mental health challenge, whether it be mild head injury,emotional illness(which are learned patterns of behavior based on one's environment),mental illness(which runs in families so there are some genetic reasons for this biochemically,is often caused by abuse and neglect as children or some traumatic event such as being a crime victim or hurt by domestic violence),developmental delays,autism,etc. )not compare themselves with those who don't . The same could be said of society who can be often very cruel to these people. Notice I say people as they too feel pain,are someone's sister,brother,daughter,son,friend. For many sadly, their families and friends have rejected them as they don't understand them. They can't relate to how they think and it does get 'old' and frustrating very quickly. Many can be dependent on families both financially and emotionally and the family member can get sucked in. This is called codependence. A similar pattern happens with those who have chemical dependencies. A triangle is played out where each person is either the victim,persecutor or rescuer.

Mental illness like addiction is a family illness. It is very treatable and many can lead satisfying,autonomous lives. Some even have families of their own. These are the fortunate ones. So many are not. These we see in our jails,homeless living in the streets and shelters,are part of the sex industry,are involved with selling drugs,hooked on drugs or drink or dead at their own hands or the hand of another.

I think May should not be the only day we address mental illness in this country or when a Columbine happens at our schools often due to bullying from other students and victimizing another student so he comes in with a gun. When someone jumps off the Rip Van Winkle bridge,like what happened last year we say”he had a history of mental illness' like it's an explanation and somehow ok and not worth worrying about as it's not someone we knew. N oone was born this way. These illnesses don't usually show themselves until someone is between 16 and 18. The individual is often shy and sensitive. The answer perhaps is to incorporate into therapy not to take what others say and do personally as is how we are. We have become an extremely rude,crude,inconsiderate ,angry and mean-spirited society. Ask anyone who serves the public and they will say that they can't stand people and when they go home they want to be alone. This is sad as many of us have jobs and don't want to be treated like this. If it's hard for us out there,can you imagine how hard it is for someone with a disability? Do you think these tormented souls need your wrath,ridicule,stupidity and disdain hurled at them because you are miserable? How hard would it be to smile or say hello when someone says hello to you? If you don't perhaps it's your problem more than theirs. Maybe you need to look at yourself.

Cairo is where the mental health clinic is. It serves many people in this community,especially low income individuals trying to deal with the stress of their lives. It is in an old building shared by some other offices including HUD,case management for those with mental illness who need someone to visit them weekly in their homes or take them somewhere. These people also advocate for those who have trouble doing so so that they get benefits like Social Security,HEAP,etc. Perhaps they help if person is having a housing conflict with a neighbor or landlord. The sheriff also is in this building right off the waiting room behind a dark partition watching you when you. If your not paranoid coming in you sure are when you leave. Though so many people come to this clinic, don't be looking for a new building to be built anytime soon as this is not the priority here. Having a library overall apparently is going to bring people to a town where the village looks like a ghost town of empty store fronts as most people have no money. The unemployment rate is staggering and there is a rift between the classes as wide as the bridge that separates Hudson from it. The officials of the town only care about the ones they can relate to who are doing ok. Forget about those who are living in an unweatherized cottage with their pets because they have nowhere else to go and no one to help them get there. That is their problem they say. They brought it on them selves.Many oft them would tell you that they are good ol' Christians as they attend mass on Sundays to ease their consciences. A small group of people run this town and don't welcome outsiders and any new ideas they may have. They think if it aint broken why fix it. Unfortunately it is very broken. The only thing good about Cairo is it does have some stores one can walk to,hAS A NICE pARK AND HAS SOME EVENTS IN IT LIKE SOME FAIRS. The rest of the year it is dead as a door nail. When you walk down the street be prepared to be ignored or talked about unless you fit in with their way of thinking. I think building a new library is fine,just not an expensive one. We need better transportation more so people could look,get work out of this area like in Albany,Kingston, I think they should be given money for bus fare too.

This area (Columbia Greene county) has a reputation for having horrible mental health services. We are told to be grateful not in some third world country and that we get any at all, when in fact the USA is becoming more and more like one. One can only see therapist every other week. Larger cities like Albany,White Plains have compeers(regular people in the community who volunteer their time to do something weekly with the outcasts amongst us). Perhaps taking a walk together or having a cup of jo' is what will help. One doesn't always need a pill but that is what the doctors like to give you as is easier and quicker as they send you on your way.
Also having a care line(run by volunteers for when people call in and are in pain in between appointments and is not an emergency) would be helpful. Also a support group one could go to weekly to just check in and touch base in between appointments would be good too.

Learning to advocate for and assert yourself is key here. Similar to how AA works, one who has gotten better,helping another, is the answer here. Who cares more than those who have these issues and can relate as having dealt with them. Many are empowering themselves and have become better for the struggle as they can help another as they are miracles and survivors. There is no shame in this. We did not cause this it's about taking responsibility for ourselves and being the best we can be and taking care of us. I have participated in the empowerment movement with organizations like (NYAP RS) NY Association for Rehabilitative Svcs., by writing to and meeting with legislators,marching at the capital to pass the parity bill (so people get therapy,doctor visits and medication paid by their job's insurance like any other physical condition as it is one.) There is an imbalance of serotonin in the brain that can cause one to feel depressed. The same is true of schizophrenia(physical causes),anxiety,etc. Why then should people be penalized when they act nervous,sad,etc.?

An organization called Active Minds is working with many students who have illnesses on college campuses so that they feel comfortable to get help. They are telling,sharing their stories to help erase the stigma associated with this illness. NAMI, National Association for the mentally Ill has educated the public on these illnesses,Patty Duke,Morley Safer,Catherine Zeta Jones,Linda Hamilton have helped put a face on mental illness by coming out and sharing they have it and live with,manage it. Hospitals no longer keep patients locked up but release them after a week when the insurance runs out. It costs about $600/day to kee someone in a hospital so it is more cost effective to send them home.

We have come a long way since the days when people were locked up and treated in their filth by doctors up until the 30's,forced (ECT)electric shock therapy to treat depression in the 40's,atrociities exposed by Meredith Viera at an institution in NJ years ago when she was with 20/20,concerning Willowbrook, in the 70's,potrayals in movies like 'One flew over the Cookoo's Nest',the emptying of instutions in the50's, 60's to the streets with no after care,the actions of Rudolf Guliani to hide the homeless and get them out of Grand Central Station so regular folks didn't have to be harrassed by pan handlers when they bought train tickets or when politicians came to town in the 80's. Many ended up going underground and live actually below NYC in tunnels or can be seen keeping themselves warm huddled around burning metal garbage pails. The bottle bill helped many and saved lives as it gave those addicted a way to buy their drug or drink without hitting someone over the head for some money to do it. There are some advocates who work with the homeless and try to get them their benefits,into housing,drug,alcohol treatment,therapy,medication denied them as they have no address or they are too sick to get them themselves as they don't stay on the medication. Medication and advances in therapies and knowledge about these disorders has helped improve the lives of many.

I believe we are not too far off before we find a genetic gene for this and it can be prevented. Already some are getting what is like a pace maker, put in their necks to give a shock to the brain to stimulate it to help with resistant depression that different drugs haven't helped. There is some risk here though. PET scans of the brain actually show a difference in how a person with depression's brain functions vs. a healthy persons in that certain areas are more active and a different size than in the depressed person's.

People with mental illness are perhaps the most courageous,misunderstood,maligned people you ever will meet.We are far from weak but have great inner strength to endure like Auschwitz victims in this society being treating worse than criminals as 5h class citiens. It is not easy to walk outside when your mind is telling you many are laughing,talking about you and some are. Being by oneself 90% of the time because no one wants to spend time with you even when you try to be friendly,ask them if they want to do something,like the therapist suggests,is not pleasant. Is what mental illness is. Is a distorted view of reality and the world. The irony is that society has a misconception of this too. Self help books like Feeling Good can help one see when their thinking is stinking but it is not the end all and be all. Many have a psychiatric service animal like a dog which people don't understand and try to make you feel weird about, to help them with their symptoms. For many depressed people,their only friend is their pet. Is there any wonder why they stay depressed in such an oppressive society? We are told not to carry the suitcases of our pasts and troubles with us and live one day at a time in the now when the now is pretty crumby, the way it is and the future is far from bright. Is very sad when so many of us are intelligent,creative people with a lot to offer the world.

-Ann Reilly

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Internet Tools For Your Blog: The Linkreferral Concept

Internet Tools For Your Blog: The Linkreferral Concept

Now my take on LInkreferral, I do believe other opinions are welcome and can be of benefit as opposed to this one by it's site owner,omg! ha!!

linkreferral sucks! I made no money and wasted my time, in the two years I was there and the members are mean and give bad reviews and act like kids in the forum,ugh! To top it off the site owner asks for money for credit on the referrals he get from having his link on our sites,outrageous! Most affiliate programs pay you for that privilege. Contrary to what he claims, one needs money from targeted not untargeted traffic as that is who buys our products and utilizes our services. Aimless hits only increase perhaps page rank but even that is no measure of a site's genuine popularity as evidenced by it's daily fluctuation. There is even some who have been penalized by Adsense for having linkreferral affiliation as is coercing the public to visit one's sites unnaturally! You be the judge tho,visit linkreferral and see what you think! As contrary to it's site's owner's opinion of me, I don't slander people's sites! He on the other hand offers a slanted view of linkreferral by writing articles on the hubpages,squidoo,social marketing sites like bloglog and blogspot, all singing his praises and erases comments that disagree with him! That is not accurate reporting which shows both sides of the story. He is like Oprah who only invited Obama and not McCain! MLM's, surveys and most affiliate programs claim to induce traffic and offer fast easy money but..we all know that the only real money out there is from a JOB where unfortunately you need to work,spend time at and don't make a lot after taxes! Anything on the net is a fluke and added creme to one's pudding but no promise of a regular check. Sorry, but I speak the truth.

The only good way I know of how to get traffic is by commenting in forums and on web sites and blogs like this one and exchanging links with reputable web sites and other blogs! Google wants quality backlinks not junk and that is all link exchanges and viral programs like linkreferral offer. Who wants someone visiting for 5 seconds?! I'll take a buyer any day over that and if you too want this you will be best served by avoiding Linkreferral and other link exchanges as they quite simply SUCK!


Thursday, August 07, 2008

Ivory-billed woodpecker in tree near my house this morning!

I saw a large woodpecker this morning in the huge oak tree next to my house this morning that I believe to be an ivory billed one. It had a large plumage of red on it's forehead and was larger than a pheasant in height. It's wing span measuared atleast 30 ". It was white and black and was up quite high on the tree butI stil could make it out quite well. It has a big nest in the tree so may have young. Also saw some other birds which didn't look like hawks but may b\have been in the other tree. Also saw blue bird at my neighbor's hummngbird feeder. I live in Cairo, NY on Grove St off of Railroad ave. I ahd seen the bird briefly befoe down the road flying over head and at first thought it was a blue loon but it wasn't. My friend called it a red throated woodpecker but I think she was wrong. I do get a downy one regularly at my feeder so you see I do know my birds and I woud say this is not a piliated one either! I welcome your feed back.. I do hiope you look into viewing here or him as truly was an incredible site and gift in the morning! The Tree Top porto potty place is dumping More

Saturday, May 10, 2008

lost 87 lbs now!

I will be coming out with a new dvd soon on how I lost the weight this past year and have kept it off! No diet, pills or exercise was required but a different approach and relationship to food was. Will be able to down load info too for $ 5.

Ask me how.

Get a hobby and interest you love and make $ off it. Will be happier and will eat less. Also doing some thing artzy helps one feel better and also avoid addictions. cheers!

Feed back welcome.

Donate $ 5 to my artzstuf web site, do search and info will be emailed to you!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Advocacy needed


Management knows I have a disability and the nature of it and it is illegal how they harrass me. What is even more pathetic in this community is the lack of advocacy for people with disabilities in this area and also lack of interest. It seems taht if one is and also has some issues taht effect them today they are labeled nuts. For many it has sphaped them into who they are today. We are sensitive people who can understand another who has gone thru the same thing in a way a therapist or psychiatrist can't. Takes one to know one,takes one to help one. I personally think we all would be better off and healthier if we went to a 12 step group. I know I need to atleast weekly to keep it green and for me to stay grounded. Other wise I go into the bad neighbor hood of my mind.

this community needs more like me who don't back down and who are paving the way for equal rights in housing,public access in stores and otehr public places,transport and so on. Also to go to court if necessary as a consumer if ripped off,a victim of crime,etc. Having a disability doesnd't mean we are dumb and nuts. WE have something to contribute. We don't need to be ignored and silenced because some are uncomfortable around us. We are also entitled to the same rights as others and to move freely and safely thru the community. We are not asking for hand outs but hands. There is much we can do in a day but our approach may be different.

Let's have an open mind. WE need to assimilate our more vulnerable citizens into society as we will have to do as much as we can for selves anyway as eventually our parents and relatives friends may pass and who knows how long other social programs will be cut?! Consider this and write to your congressman. Democrats support such programs always have along with environment. think green!! Not war.

I believe many living in isolation who are being called bipoar and this or that for insurance purposes so doctors get their money and the pharmacists make their $$ pumping drugs into us as guinea pigs and lab rats..would be better served by going to a social event weekly in the community. Mental health clinic I go to just listens to me 2x a month and she offers suggestions and if I am being negative she mentions the postive in it. They could do much more tho. A peer support warm line would be a great idea thru the CAVE advocacy group here in area. Also a newsletter taht serves the community regarding disabililty issues. I am thinking of asking my local paper if I could do an article for them free lance once a week on disabled issues. There are many here with seen and unseen disabilities who are not treated well and this could help us greatly. I also would like to start doing weekly informal one hour social chats at coffee house or diner for a cup of coffee and some chat. This too could be just what many with poor social skills due to fear and anger from past effects . Many have come out of hospitals or are in and out because families and friends if they have any don't understand them and can be mean...they stay ill when they could instead learn to depend on God and selves and empower selves. I don't have much faith in the system and the medical field now. I believe the future and now one can use alternative medicine and be alot healthier. We could also have a show on tv once a week. We are all in this together ,in this thing called life.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Sensual thoughts..

Sensual thoughts..

biz is slow today so gonna write a bit..wrote in a forum on site but for the last time s I find the women there mean. They do not welcome anyone who disagrees with them. Oh well we are all different and have different takes on things as our lives are not all the same. I do posts as I enjoy writing and interacting with others online and it is supposed to increase web traffic to my web site. Well feel to write a post as noone has here,thks! gonna go out and enjoy the day as is nice here tty

Raise Mental Health Awareness Today (May=Mental Health Month)

Raise Mental Health Awareness Today (May=Mental Health Month)
Why are there no runs for Mental Health?!


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landscape painting

landscape painting
by Stanley Maltzman,(great art teacher. I studied with him.)

My water color painting

My water color painting
"Cows" (Click link to see more of my ART!)

Henry Hudson River

Henry Hudson River


on the couch..Yeh, who doesn't need therapy?!

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New Book on China

New Book on China
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