Archives of Conferences on BPD

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

Just click on link of post title.

I have been having a hard time of late. Why? I suppose alot to accept. Don't have to like it though.

Alone alot as no close friends,any one to do things with or to help me if needed help even if for barter.

Making no money,not for lack of trying. Someone went to an event with me and I paid her back with jewelry make. I asked her if could do an event with me but she had plans. She has a job. Since don't hear from her,figure won't call anymore.

I know people but they have their own lives and problems so detach from me and mine.

type with 1 finger as need battery so hold pc plug or pc cuts off.

welcome to my life.

no car to get to events to sell jewelry. just had concert this weekend.
could have sold if got there. then there's the fee. how can I pay if don't have as not making it? could borrow from ma but her money. Am I a masochist as I have a solution but don't take it? No I don't like pain but avoiding it can be painful too when interferes with living your life. No guarantee will make anything and not gambling with mom's money.

Other than vending,nothing can do given my challenges. Yes I can share with you some things I do to cope like meditation,pray,stretch,deep breathe and so on..but not like I get beyond this. I feel with some support could. Did go to online recovery inc. meeting which helped. had anted to teach meditation class in town. librarians unfriendly tho i know skills. feel they on't call me. I also asked churches if could run ea and recovery inc meetings there. they need to look into it. I feel like will go nuts at times. Is meetups too where can invite people thru service online to group in area like for bpd. Don't think library would approve it. Meditation with someone,not me as stigmatize me,yes would approve. Keep me down here and broke. I could make money off it.

I think of moving as saw ad in Albany,1br for $400. I pay $650 now. Could save $,live better but why so cheap problem bad area. Pic looked nice. dunno. darned if do darned if don't. Mom in home here and would be hard to see her often as $34 round trip by bus and only run at rush hour so layover long back. Is doable and even though spend alot in car fare still cheaper than here. Would have $100 more a month.

Is a pain moving but hat is worse as sucks living here like this. If in Albany,could go to day time meetings,maybe get a p/t job somewhere,trauma therapist up there. I get treated like an alien here. They have family friends. Since I can't bond because of how raised, I don't. I wish could. Is best I keep my distance. As for a job,this comes up there too as can do for awhile but then falls apart. Sometimes I ish I was in a half way house but was for a month and they weren't supportive at all. Then I say how abot hospital,day program but then is the same. Just go to groups and alone rest of time as patients are either mean,noncommunicative,in on worlds,violent. Is why I think of suicide. I don't because of pets,mom,me but it gets tiring being me alot going thru this.

This only started recently as time on hands. I have to keep busy or get into my head.
with depression don't want to do much though so is the rub. I feel better after I do. Also I work programs daily like DBT,CBT,12 step,Recovery Inc,pray. Is like a seesaw. The devil,the illness,the negative thoughts,memories,anger,fear,every rotten thing anyone has done or said recently that I know on one side and the positive,secure thoughts,God,scripture from the Bible,program tools on the other. Is a war within myself going on. It stops after 8PM,has been like this for a long time, as day is done,only for it to start again the next day when rise. I enjoy being alone with my pets,being outside sitting in my yard alone at night,like the aloneness as no one understands here except someone else with this. I work hard to be honest,not manipulative. I am screaming inside,help me! Can't you see how much pain I am in? I just want some attention in a good way. Someone to talk to me nicely and not tell me what i should be doing like they understand where I am coming from as they don't. I have an exneighbor I see every once in awhile who is clueless as to why someone so smart as me and aware of her issues can't rise above them. The answer to that is if do too much I crack up.

Two things, I on't get involved with anyone nor will I work many hours. Why? If doesn't work out I will have a breakdown and be in hosital,not a nice place to be and be psychotic. I fear I won't get ot and will never return to any semblance of sanity which I do have. Is like I live in a parallel universe with the average person. I hear what are saying arond me but it is completely alien to my life. I hear commercials like this activity is going on this weekend. I can't get there so I stay home. I would like to go but no money either. If did though, I would appear perfectly normal as the mask i wear is so good. That is why noone has any compassion for me. They have to work for what have and figure so do I. What do you do with someone too imbalanced to? Live as I do I guess falling between a system that doesn't work,one day at a time in quiet desperation.

I get so tired of cli nical and text book reports of what BPD is. I want to know what one can do if they have it.

Bought a tent,used for my biz today..

Closer to... SANE!: Today was last Cairo Market day

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

New web site is being worked on to increase traffic and can help more people holistically to supplement traditional medicine. Check back often to see how it is progressing. Again, do not claim to be a doctor so dont say to go off your meds that work or stop seeing doctor,therapist but to try some of my suggestions such as making art,the arts(dance,singing,music),deep breathing,stretching,meditation,etc. as a therapeutic approach to wellness.

Am off to sell some chakra jewelry and healing stones and share with public their healing powers. Also will offer some teaching of meditation.

Enjoy your day. -Ann

Expectations are best avoided so won't be disappointed,frustrated..

Today was last Cairo Market day

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

Had a good opportunity today to practice the 'not being effected by what others say and do that may be hurtful and unexpected'principal. I was supposed to get the balance of money due from a client who bought a piece of jewelry. Instead she said that I 'didn't do a good job making it and she didn't want it' after wearing it a week and saying she liked it and i let her take it when she only gave me $24 as a deposit when item was $55 and she owed me on previous order $12. Initially I was annoyed but didn't show it but instead gave her some money had on me. Will not do biz with her again. Bracelet was custom-made to boot. I gave it to my mom who liked it. There was nothing wrong with it. Decided to let her and it go. All good, as I made back $40 from other customers and have another order for $20. God is good. I choose to 'wear this world as a loose garment' til I am with the Lord. Before I would have been angry and said something and then been sad,as had planned to spend the money on some things needed. I can't expect people to do what say. Need to expect disappointment and frustration as part of life and being realistic. Can't be sensitive although my nature as an artist. Also some are rude,crude,inconsiderate,stupid but must endure for my mental health. Can only control me and my attitude. Can't expect people to think like me. I can hang out and do biz with nicer people in the future and get my money up front before make anything and let them know it is non-refundable. Is why I prefer the quick sale at shows as it gets to be too much running a biz.

List of Natural Remedies Known to Have Dangerous Interactions With Medications:

List of Natural Remedies Known to Have Dangerous Interactions With Medications:

Another way..

'fire'

of looking at things and definitely a higher way of living, is explored in this FREE Ebook so if you are into yoga,alernative healing and living in a higher consciousness,check it out!

*Biggest loser Update

(they even had to run a marathon.)

Someone said Helen was on a colon cleanser which helped her drop the weight quicker. Do you think she should have won? Did she cheat? Tell me what you think!

Taking apple cidar vinegar to kill parasites until get real medicine..

although my stomach is producing more acid on it's own to combat this, it is still good to use apple cidar vinegar as kills parasites by producing more acid to kill their eggs but surprisingly is used to help acid reflux. Go figure! Did you know it is also good for weight loss and ofcourse a natural detox. Read more on vinegar's amazing uses!

My pets had worms and now I have them too..ugh.

'Brandy',my dog

If you thought you couldn't get sick from your pet, think again! Yeh I have what my dog had and still is ill as I noticed a mucousy stool today. I have flukes or cysts in my stool. Went to doctor and had lab work done so will see what i need to do next when i get back the results. For more on parasites, read here.

Get these Mental Health books NOW

"Acrylic painting I made of a cat with a book bag of books who likes to read!"


You can even find them at your local library as they can order them from another library if your library doesn't have what you want to read!


Date: Sunday, February 1, 2009, 1:59 PM

Here is a list of books which members of the group have found helpful:

1. The number one MUST read for BPD's is: "I Hate You - Don't Leave Me," by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus. ISBN: 0-380-71305- 5

A book that is very helpful for significant others of BPD's is:

"Stop Walking on Eggshells," and the accompanying "Stop Walking On Eggshells Workbook," by Paul T. Mason.

Here is a list of other suggested reading:

101 Foods That Could Save Your Life, by David Grotto, RD, LDN. ISBN: 978-0-553-38432- 1

Angry Heart, The: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Behaviors. An interactive self-help guide by Joseph Santoro, PhD. ISBN: 1-57224-080- 6

Brilliant Madness, A: Living With Manic-Depressive Illness by Patty Duke and Gloria Hochman. ISBN: 0-553-56072- 7

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting, and Enjoying the Self, by Charles L. Whitfield, MD. ISBN: 1-55874-259- X

Child Abuse Series by Dave Pelzer:

A Child Called It: One Child's Courage To Survive. ISBN: 1-55874-366- 9

Lost Boy, The: A Foster Child's Search for the Love of a Family. ISBN: 1-55874-515- 7

Man Named Dave, A: A Story of Triumph and Forgiveness. ISBN: 0-452-28190- 3

Help Yourself: Celebrating the Rewards of Resilience and Gratitude. ISBN: 0-525-94357

Courtship Dance of the Borderline, The, by Anthony Walker, MD. ISBN: 0-595-19712- 4. The author's personal account of his involvement with someone having borderline personality disorder is lurid, frightening, fascinating, and compelling. Member, Kay, finds this book hitting some familiar notes, and echoes out sadness as it defines BPD, but does not offer help or helping. At times, it seems like a circus mirror.

Crystal Co-Creators -- by Dorothy Roeder ISBN: 0-929385-40- 3. This book lists various crystals and gem stones, their properties, and believed effects.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook by Matthew McKay.

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You, by Susan Forward, PhD. ISBN: 0-06-018757- 3

Five Love Languages, The: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate -- by Christian writer Gary Chapman. ISBN: 1-881273-15- 6

Getting Control of Your Anger: Break The Cycle of Generational Anger, by Robert Allen, PhD. ISBN: 0-07-144884- 5

Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately? A source for healing your hurts. By David Wilkerson. ISBN: 0-8007-8481- 2

Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World, by Ted Zeff, PhD. ISBN: 978-1-57224- 396-5

Insulin Resistant Diet, The,: How To Turn Off Your Body's Fat Making Machine, by Cherlye R. Hart, MD, and Mary Kay Grossman, RD. Healthy Diet meal planning for those with insulin resistance, pre-diabetes, or diabetes. ISBN: 0-8092-2427- 5

"I'm Not Good Enough" ... and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves -- by Christian writer, Sharon Jaynes. ISBN:978-0-7369- 1870-1 (pbk.)

Kay Redfield Jamison Bipolar Series:

Unquiet Mind, An: A Memoir of Moods and Madness. ISBN: 0-679-44374- 6

Touched with Fire: Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament. ISBN: 0-684-83183- X

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. ISBN: 0-375-40145- 8

Exuberance: The Passion for Life. ISBN: 0-375-40144- X

Lord, Heal My Hurts -- by Christian writer, Kay Arthur. ISBN: 0-88070-879- 4. (Group Member, Kay, gives this book a 5* rating. Absolutely Excellent.)

PTSD Workbook, The -- by Mary Beth williams PhD and Soili Poijula PhD. ISBN: 1-5724-282-5. Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms.

Time To Grieve, A: Meditations for the healing after the death of a loved one. By Carol Staudacher. ISBN: 0-06-250845- 8

Toxic Parents - Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life -- by Susan Forward. ISBN: 0-553-05700- 6

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship, " by Christine Ann Lawson.

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving The Most Complicated Relationship Of Your Life, by Victoria Secunda ISBN: 0-385-30423- 4. Note from member, Kay: I am not sure that terminating a relationship with one's mother is the ultimate option in life. Yes, it may provide a temporary relief to current stress and constant interference, but there are long term considerations, a rippling effects throughout the entire family. My brother terminated his relationship with our parents, and thus ended up terminating his relationship with the entire family. His children never knew their or met their grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. When his children came of age, the sought out cousins via sources like MySpace and Facebook. I am currently in a situation with my one daughter where I just don't care to spend time with her. I don't want it to be a permanent thing. I told her that I have PTSD issues I need to take care of in therapy, and felt it best
if we took a break from each other for a while. My therapist suggested after I had made some progress in therapy, perhaps the two of us could come to therapy together and come to some sort of workable relationship. My daughter doesn't seem to "get" I need time out, but that's a boundary I'll have to set with her.

Why Am I Up, Why Am I Down? Understanding Bipolar Disorder. Profound mood swings...suicidal feelings...unpredic table behavior..., by Roger Granet, MD and Elizabeth Ferber. ISBN: 0-440-23465- 4

Your Scars Are Beautiful To God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past, by Christian writer Sharon Jaynes. ISBN: 0-7369-1610- 5

My Store, Please Check it Out!!

Visit my store

http://annspe.blujay.com

Click on link above to see my My Space page! I added some photos of myself and some of my work and i also have some personal info on there, not on my bio!

How do I get more traffic to my web site?!

(As appeared in LR,Linkreferral forum yesterday..)


Well you could have good content on your site for starters! If you have a page with good info on it that is of interest to the general population then it will get hits. If it caters to a more specific part of the public like say Britney Spears fans then you may only get people say in their teens and twenties who enjoy Britney! It is best to gear yourself to a wider audience in my humble opinion. On my site for instance, I deal with health. Then I get more specific and say alternative including aromatherapy. I offer a store and sell hand made soy based soap and candles and healing arts namely chakra jewelry and water color paintings of land scapes. Chakra means energy or chi,Qi in chinese. REiki is energy work for your body. We also offer meditation, feng shui, weight loss tips...In this way, you can see how you can target the general population and then hone in on more specifically the market you want to attract. More

Another day of rain..

tree

Alternative Health as the Answer for expensive health care, for those with no health insurance and last resort when conservative treatments fail

Affordable Alternative Health and Aromatherapy as an Answer to Exhorbitant Medical Expenses or no Health Insurance!

Alternative Healing


Explores Alternative Health options due to skyrocketing health costs, the many with no Health Insurance or as a last resort with failure of pills and doctor visits.

Depression for one is a serious health concern facing many in the world today and for quite a few, pills and psychotherapy aren't cutting it! At a hundred dollars a pop, a doctor's visit is clearly not a way to go for many. $ 240. is the cost for a generic blend of depakote, a popular mood stabilizer, I for one was on to control my mood swings often associated with bipolar. Thank goodness I was on Medicaid lest I couldn't afford this! HOw about the many that can't afford it and are the working poor? Yes many do in fact work for minimum wage for places like Walmart, our biggest employer, but they offer no benefits especially medical. Despite themany hours some put in here, Walmart is notorious for keeping their employees below full time status so they can avoid sick leave,health insureance,vacation pay,birdthday pay,vacations and the like that many other companies do pay! In fact it is so sad that Walmat even had to be pulled into court to pay insurance costs for their many employees! More

Good company

'don't tire from doing good for you will reap" is from the Bible and man I think it's a dynamite way to live and work! If you have a business and can impact those around you,preferably in your community..I think it's a "good thing", as Martha would say! In fact Martha Stewart started out giving helpful tips to house wives on how they too could have beautiful homes,gardens,save money,etc. !! I think having a business that gives back to the public or in other words is a "good company", is a great way to go and is SMART!! It makes you not only look like a great person but.. you get business out of it too! I think it's just plain genious to give back to the areas in which you occupy and serve and service! What about you? In what way do you impact the community in which you serve?! Are you a "good company"?! I for one, support the ethical humane treatment of animals,not PETA, and feed,water,rescue abandoned pets. I have rescues at home, a pit bull and 3 cats! I don't know who was helped more by my actions,them or me! I definitely think they prolong one's life an add to it but.. they also make you healthier! I was depressed before I got on the green wave(eco-friedly too)! Or rather healthier. I lost about 100 lbs. this past year and have kept it off without diet or exerciwse or joining a crazy program or gym. I adopted a dog who needed a home as it's owner was moving to a place that didn't allow pets. I also took in an abandoned kitten!! They are incredible and truly a gift! I have taken my attention off my selfish self, and I take care of them! In response they give me love unconditionally! I think animals are a wonderful example of what we could and should be if we just give love a chance and peace! Today I take but one anti-depressant as compared to the other crap I was on, and I embrace a healthier life style and give to my animal causes! ONe can't be self destructive, when one has a pet or a child or an elder parent to take care of! Man that is a good thing! Peace and love, Ann.'

from my post on Linkreferral forum. today.

Green tea oil diffuser

Went to New Paltz, a college town as they have the SUNY, state university of New York there, today selling jewelry. Walked all over but made $30 so was something atleast. I did not do as well as hoped but then I didn't have an appointment anywhere not for lack of trying though as tried to set one or two up before left but they weren't interested. I had a nice day of it though and stopped and did some shopping too. I went to two health food stores where I bought some nice smelling soap and to Peter Harris, a store that sells designer clothing for less. I used to work at one so I know what they carry and is nice. I got a couple of pretty pair of pants, a top and 2 oil diffusers. One will sell but I will keep the one that smells of green tea oil.

A couple of stores had expressed interest but said make an appointment as they were too busy now to see me. That is promising so...I will contact them and let them see my web site of jewelry and if they like anything I can ship it to them.

Aromatherapy

I just went to a health store yesterday and bought some oils for air and body,soaps and massage oil so I can make up some massage oil and scented water bottles and spritzes for air and body, such as rose water and rose massage oil to sell online and to my clients at flea markets and also to merchants.

I put some on my dog and she seemed to destress and like it.

I am working hard at getting healthier as I think along with feeling better it is a sign of self love and respect for my body and self to do this and give myself this gift.

I made $ 65 yesterday selling my jewelry and then spent $ 125 on product. I was counting on making another $ 50 from a store but she decided not to buy. I still have an order tho to fill on some other stuff she asked for tho which is ok as I have a bill to pay this month that is high. ugh! Oh well it's part of being a responsible adult to pay one's bills and I will feel good when I have done it and gotten this one out of the way.

I go to New Paltz next week to sell so I am hoping I do well. I was supposed to do a flea market today but the weather here isn't good so I will save my $ would have spent on a fee and will just run some errands and fill my orders I have already. So ..what you up to today?!

Chakra jewlery

I am a jewelry designer and artist. My jewelry is of gem stones and precious metal as well as copper which is a conductor of energy,chi. The gem stones have healing properties for the one who wears the jewelry like adventurine the green chakra is good to offset creativity for good yin yang balance and to calm one. More on this can be found here http://www.freewebs.com/annspets4/jewelry.htm Just scroll down page and read under gem stones. :)

If one goes to this link one will find some info on aromatherapy also which I practice to calm me and maintain good emotional/mental health which is very important to enjoy one's life. cheers! :) -Ann