Remember that song? Well, I do an I hated it then and still do! Another tear jerker was 'The DAy the music Died' -Don McLean or better yet 'All By Myself!" don't want to be..all by myself, anymore! (revamped version by Celine Dion, ha!) Anyway..I am alone, partly by choice as I am choosey as to whom I befriend and spend time with.. Of late I am feeling the magnitude of what that means and is and it kind of scares and saddens me. Granted I am not unique in my experience as many other people live alone ansd some prefer or love it! in fact, you can live alone but still enjoy a great social life and have a terrific network of dear friends. Not my case though. I don't call or reach out as I just feel 'in the way' as they have their own family,friends and lives and appear diinterested in me and wanting to know me better or be around me.
Technically, mind you, I am not physically alone as I live with 3 hairy beasts! yes..4 cats and a dog but..when it comes to human beings, there I would say, I would be lacking. I really don't have anyone I could truly say that I could depend on or who would be there for me in a pinch. Yes I have my elderly mom and and an old boyfriend. By that I mean, an "ex", although come to think of it, he is old too!! He lurks in the shadows of my life and visits a couple of times a week, usually to grubs off me both for food and money,as he doesn't use a budget and is perpetually broke,ugh! He will say he will be coming over but will go to sleep instead and not call so..I wouldn't exactly call him a rock of dependability.
I am pre or perimenepausal as they say as just got my 'friend' again after months of not getting it as I thought I was threw with that and I was fine about it. Now I am bleeding alot and depressive due to hormones. Getting better though but perhaps is why I felt sad and introspective all of a sudden.
I have neighbors who saying "hi" is a stretch, let alone asking for anything so for the most part, I don't bother to speak to them. Many people pass by as I live near a park in a farm community upstate in NY but, they stare at me and look in my windows and go on their merry way.
How bout you? Are you alone? lonely? What do you do to cope with your feelings?
Another great article on being alone can be found here on 'Open SAlon', a blog site for writers. Check it out! AND AS ALWAYS,'here's to your health!'
