. Now I am still shaky and might let man back to apartment and one thing would lead to another . Would be attracted to one another and some thing might happen but I want it tho with the right person who is not a user and wants a relationship. I don't want to be with a man who never calls or sees me agian as have this happen and it doesn't make me feel good as I think we all deserve respect and is no way to treat someone especially were just intimate with. If with right person then it won't be addictive.I will avoid this for a while until I feel more compatible to my date as I still tend to think they don't want to be with me with my problems altho they too have them and because of my disabilities and the fact I don't do all they do in a day for fear of set back,I get overwhelmed,stressed and tired due to medicine.
For now I have a toy. Masturbation is not so bad as is better than being with the wrong person as long as it is not done compulsively which it isn't for me. I explored sex with others but not at same time and Today I know I am not mentally ill. It is just a label they put on me for insurance purposes. I have to work on behavior. I was hurt and then treated self like junk. I still have some memory problems from depression and meds tho. I am protective of self and treat self like a queen alone til I may meet the right man who also thinks of me that way.
Below I have a pet link as I think animals are so loving and nonjudgemental and personally with the exception of my mom have been my best friends.
